the handshake dilemma

the last time eric visited norcal, he and his friends got into a rather detailed discussion about "the handshake dilemma."  the "handshake dilemma," as i quickly learned, is that moment when two guys are about to shake hands, but it's unclear what kind of handshake it will be.  if he a "shake with the right, pat on the back with the left"?  or maybe a "short hold, pull back, come back in for the slammer"?  from the way he walks, i'm going to go with "grab with upward facing fingers, release, re-shake with downward facing fingers, pull back with a snap, point, and wink."

this sort of thing just doesn't happen with girls.  most girls are either wavers, shakers, or huggers, depending on the situation, and it's usually clear which one a girl is going to go with by the way she walks up to you. 

anyway, the short of it is that i didn't fully understand the subtle nuances of the "handshake dilemma" until last saturday, when i was asked to go into the office for a somewhat impromptu briefing.

i arrived a little bit later than i'd hoped because i didn't realize that the mountain view art and wine festival was popular enough to cause traffice on el camino, so when i walked up, this reporter was already in conversation with someone else.  i (awkwardly) interrupted their conversation to introduce myself, and stuck out my hand to shake his.  he shook my hand, just a normal, no-frills handshake, and introduced himself.

great, right?

WRONG.  a few minutes later, his conversation with the rando ended, and he turned to me, pulled back his hand, and started in for 

"the handshake."  my immediate reaction was "oh, fuck.  this is going to be one of THOSE handshakes. i know it."  and it was.

he shook my hand, kind of released, did some weird movement, and tried to re-shake. all i remember is that the handshake ended with my hand on top of his like this:

minus the part where he looks like prince charming, i look like cinderella, and both parties are generally happy with the current state of... things...

anyway, i let go quickly, because i'm terrible in awkward situations.  but the worst part about is that i couldn't stop thinking about it throughout the entire briefing.  all i could think was "god, this guy must think i'm totally weird -- i can't even shake his hand."

anyway, the valuable lesson that i learned from this is that the "handshake dilemma" is no joke.  i don't totally understand it, and i probably never will, but the next time eric brings it up, i will not laugh.  or at least i'll spend a few minutes (seconds) in honest, deep contemplation before i start laughing.