in this installment of mysteries of the gym, i observe the male gym rat: he who cannot exercise without 1) a mirror, 2) a wife beater, and 3) hair gel.
you all know who i'm talking about. the guy who you see EVERY time you go to the gym, no matter if it's 4pm on a tuesday afternoon, 10 a.m on saturday, or noon on christmas.
there are two things i never understood about male gym rats (hereafter referred to as MGRs). the first is their apparent aversion to cardio. have you ever seen an MGR on a treadmill? i mean, i'm not a total weirdo, i get it... cardio is painfully boring, especially at the gym. but that's what ipods and 30-minute tv sitcoms were invented for -- to help you get through your cardio workout without having to think about how unbelievably futile it feels to run for half an hour and literally end up exactly where you started.
the second thing i don't understand about MGRs is that most of them have unnaturally large upper bodies and sickengly scrawny lower bodies. it's all about "how much can you bench?" and no one thinks "how come you have the legs of a 13 year old boy?"
when they're spending that many hours a day "working out," you'd think these guys would end up doing a few squats or leg presses somewhere in there, if only because, after a while, you run out of upper body exercises.
unless you are john basedow, in which case, you don't need legs.
have you ever seen john basedow's legs? no, you have not. why? because they are probably scrawny and unattractive, and they would distract from the perfection of this:
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